Girl Extraordinaire

"Did you finish all the pear?" I asked Arushi on the way back from school.

"Some pieces are left, but I finished my almond"

My daughter is 8 years old, loves to read and oftentimes likes to stay in her own world.While not headstrong or resistive, she definitely has a strong mind and is not readily compliant.

"Best to leave the unfinished pear alone", I thought.

For quite a few years now, it has been our practice to read together in the evenings. When she was younger, I would read and let her turn the pages. Now we take turns, our voices rising and falling, performing the characters. Today though, I found her irritable and sullen. After barely two pages of "Ballet shoes for Anna", she said she has had enough.

--"Bad day in school?"

--"Naah! just tired"

--"Are you sure angel? I really want to help if something is bothering you", I offered.

--"Can you give me a smaller tiffin from tomorrow?"

--"Arushi, I'm not upset that you could not finish your tiffin, happens you know.. and alright, I will give you something simpler from tomorrow"

Two days on, things had not improved. Arushi eating little, saying even less, withdrawing in a shell whenever I asked questions.To add to my woes, some books had gone missing from her backpack.

"Is your Maths notebook in school?" I asked her that evening.

"Yep. We started fractions today", came the reply.

"What about History? There is no History on wednesdays", i was not giving up easily

"Can't remember Ma... Will check with teacher", came another reluctant reply.

I watched things get worse for a week and decided it was time to snap into action. I did a quick check with some other moms and my nightmare was complete. Not only was Arushi not getting her books back home but also leaving the notes incomplete. I stared at her notebooks(the ones she had decided to bring home that day), half finished sentences and blank pages stared back at me.

It bears mentioning here that Arushi has been a top student in her class all year. That she will be reckless in her studies is as appalling as it is bizarre.

She needs help, I was convinced. "But why not ask for it?" I thought. As a parent, I have always believed in discipline based on reasoning.You are far more likely to get the desired result by allowing free exchange of ideas than by being the inflexible parent who controls by chiding and curbing. But my notion was not working well anymore. My daughter was holding back things from me needlessly. "May be I need help too", I said to myself.

"Baby, I'm going to ask you something and I really need the truth", I ventured that evening. 

Arushi was silent.

"I promise I will understand, if you speak the truth"

"Okay Ma.."

"Have you lost you History and Eng.Gram notebooks in school, 'cause I haven't seen them for over a month".

"They are with Anahita".

"Who"?

"The new girl, who joined last month".

"But why is she taking your books home and not writing her own notes"? I was aghast.

"Because Ma, she writes slowly and can't finish her work and others make fun of her"

"So you decided it is far more sensible to let her keep your books for as long as she wants rather than help her learn to finish her work in time"? I was struggling to stay calm.

"She is new and very shy", was all that Arushi would say. This discussion was obviously at an end and about as useful as a broken toy. That night, as I went to sleep, I vowed to put an end to this madness even if it meant taking it up in school.

If you are a parent like me, you know this is easier said than done. Teachers are not really very forthcoming in giving appointments that too right away. In my case however, I struck some luck and the class teacher agreed to see me the very next day.

I went in next morning ready to ventilate my ire; after all, was it not the teacher's job to ensure everyone finish schoolwork in school? but what she told me, left me dumbstruck. Nothing could have prepared me for this!

Anahita is dyslexic and dysgraphic. Although a child of normal intelligence, her ability to read and write fluently is severely affected. She is poor in spellings and there is also a minor speech impairment. This handicap makes her a fitting subject for amusement and shenanigans both in and outside the classroom.

"Arushi has been very caring. She lends her notebooks to Anahita and also copies the notes for her during the tiffin break", explained Ms.Rita, the class teacher. 

I walked back home speechless and flooded with emotions. How could this 8 year old, who is more inclined to choosing a book than making new friends take a classmate under her wing? How could she, aloof and in her own world, stand up for a friend?

"This Anahita, your friend.. is she a nice girl"? i asked her at bedtime.

"Yes Ma, but poor thing....she doesn't have a friend".

"Would you like to call her over sometime? may be for a playdate or watch a movie together?"

"Wow!! That would be awesome"! Arushi shrieked and gave me a hug. And all was well in my world again.